I’ve piddled away the last 2 hours. You know, trying to decide whether writing is therapeutic or whether I’d be better off just watching a movie and painting my nails. Indecisively scrolling through Facebook and Googling things that I’d be better off not Googling. But in the end, I think I’ve decided to write. You […]
To Hell With Hope
Hope? To hell with hope. There is no hope. Anger. That’s all there is today. Once the tears have been shed, that is. Today is the kind of day that demands you watch every second tick by, just waiting until you can walk through your bedroom door, collapse, curl into a ball, and sob. Uncontrollably […]
Walk Today. Dance Tomorrow.
This afternoon has been full of revelation. I’m not going to label it good or bad. Labels suck. Revelation is simply an awareness of truth. And truth has no bias. Revelation 1: My hip has not functioned properly for over a third of my life. It’s true. I broke my hip when I was 18. January of […]
I Still Don’t Get Why I Do This.
It’s 3:00 pm on a Sunday as I write this. I’m sitting on the couch. My cat is purring next to me. And I’m wrapped up in a sweatshirt blanket in an attempt to keep the icepack on my hip from freezing me to death in the middle of July. I still don’t get why […]
There Is No Us. There Is No Them.
I don’t usually watch the news. I find that if I turn it on, it’s impossible to turn off. And it’s usually the same thing over and over again. 5 minutes worth of news lasts 3 hours as reporters and anchors tell the same story again and again. It only fuels the fire and causes […]
Like A Tree
Last week was National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. For those of you who are faithful followers of this blog, you might have noticed that I did not publish a post last week. Which might seem strange, given that I am a vocal advocate for mental health, eating disorders, and recovery as a whole. But there […]
My Body Screams
My body screams at me. I’m certain it begins as a whisper. Every time it warns me. And I ignore it. Every time. I’m angry now. At my body. At myself. I feel betrayed. My back gave out on me last weekend and by Tuesday I was desperate. I made the call and the long […]
Whenever That May Be
If there’s one thing I can say about treatment, it’s that you meet people who will change your life. Or at least the way you look at it. Whether you just share the air in the art room or become lifelong friends, there’s something that binds you together. There is no small talk. Everything is […]