One of my friends gave me a little 30 day devotional on my last day of VIOP. I think I might have missed a day or 2, but for the most part, I was pretty consistent. And yesterday I finished the book. That means I’m 31ish days out of treatment! Wahoo! I saw my therapist […]
Finally Free
I want to write a poem, But I don’t know where to start. Life before you, life without you, Or when it fell apart. You’ve stolen oh so much from me. My worth, my heart, my time. You’ve stolen my identity, It’s like I’ve lost my mind. I used to be so brave […]
When Recovery Gets Boring
“I’m bored.” That’s what I told my therapist. “What’s boring?” she replied. “Recovery. Recovery is boring.” And it’s true. When I was in the throws of my illness, I was enveloped with insanity. My mind was a battleground. And there’s nothing boring about a war zone. There’s always something going on. A bullet to dodge, […]
20 Questions
I’ve been feeling restless. Again. I feel like I write about that a lot on this blog. Feeling unfulfilled. Not knowing what I’m doing with my life. Feeling directionless. Wandering without a purpose. Wanting something more. I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office the other day feeling slightly annoyed with all the stupid questions he […]
Wheat in the Wind
Despite being out of “full time treatment” for several months now, I still spend a lot of time in Towson. I have regular therapy on Tuesdays and see my dietician and art therapist on Wednesdays. Plus my psychiatrist once a month-ish. When it comes up in conversation, people sound surprised. I’ll admit it’s annoying. Some […]
The Cool Kids
Before I get started here, I’m going to do a little bit of education. Because knowledge is power, right? Ok, here is your mini lesson and it has to do with the treatment of eating disorders at Sheppard Pratt. There are 4 “levels of care.” They are outpatient, the intensive outpatient program (IOP), the partial hospitalization program (PHP), […]
My Eating Disorder: Friend or Foe
This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness week and a friend of mine recently asked me to help her with a little project. She wanted a clip or 2 about the positive and/or negative effects the eating disorder has had on my life. She wanted to give a voice to all sides of the eating disorder. […]
Leaking.
*This post was originally written on Thursday, February 11, 2016. After reading it, you might understand why it took me a week and a half to actually post it. I’ve sworn myself to realistic optimism and total transparency. So who am I to withhold this post from the world? Not publishing has also made it difficult for […]