Last weekend was my 10 Year High School Reunion. If the Liberty class of 2004 had a 5 year reunion, I was either uninformed or oblivious. This was the first reunion I’d ever heard about.
I’ve had people ask me if I was going. This post will be pretty straightforward. The answer is no. No, this former high school valedictorian would not be attending her alma mater’s reunion. 10 year or otherwise.
I think many people are surprised with the directness of this response, so I decided the topic was worthy of a blog post.
5 Reasons Why I Didn’t Attend My High School Reunion
- I am not friends with anyone from high school. I seriously don’t talk to a single person that I attended high school with. Why would I pay to go to an event full of people I haven’t talked to in 10 years. That is awkward.
- All of my friends went to different schools. From the above statement you might assume that I have no friends. This is not the case. Most of my friends attended other schools in the region (or were in a different grade), so they would not be attending this event. I’d rather spend my money traveling to see these actual friends.
- I have no fond memories to reminisce about with my fellow graduates. High school was not a pleasant experience for me. I was not popular, I was not a star athlete, I was not stylish, I did not have a boyfriend, and I did not have a car. I had my academics and my future. All of my energy and attention went into these 2 things. I viewed fun as a roadblock to success. This doesn’t make for a humorous recollection of my foolish youthfulness with my rebellious comrades.
- I do not have anyone to bring with me. The only thing worse than going to a party full of people you don’t know is doing so alone. I’m not one to sulk in singleness. I even enjoy going out to eat by myself at times. But voluntarily walking in to an uncomfortable and awkward environment all alone is just straight up unnecessary.
- I am not who I once was. Or who I once thought I’d be. I think this goes without saying. I was class valedictorian with a full scholarship to an out-of-state university and a bright and shiny future career as a naval officer. Ten years later I’m a college drop-out and single mother living with my parents. I’m not embarrassed by my life because that sentence is not how I see myself. I am a miracle whose life is full of undeserved blessings. But you can’t deny the blatant difference between my aspirations and my reality. I know that our lives rarely turn out as we imagine at age 18, but I think it’s safe to say that mine took an unusually drastic detour in the grand scheme of things.
I am not embarrassed by my present reality, but neither do I deny it. Why would I place myself in a position of having to justify my life to a room full of faces I can’t remember and people I don’t know? Why would I pay money for that kind of torture?
I’m not bashing the idea of a high school reunion because, for most people, they are truly something special. A time to reunite with long-lost friends and laugh at countless memories. But I don’t have friends and I don’t have memories. I probably would have come home from the reunion drenched in tears.
I feel a little bit guilty because there are people who can’t attend their high school reunions. They’d love to meet up with old friends, but live too far away or believe the venue to be inconvenient. I could go if I wanted to, so it saddens me that there are those who can’t. But to them I’d say this: treasure your memories, for they are far more precious than you know them to be.
We each have different life experiences, so we each tend to treasure different aspects of life. It doesn’t mean that one of us is wrong, it means we’re unique. Life would be boring if we all loved high school and the potential for a reunion. So whether high school memories bring you laughter or tears, know that you are not alone.
What is your BEST or WORST high school memory?
Linking up with The Blogger’s Digest, Wine’d Down Wednesday, & SHINE Blog Hop!
Savvy says
I’ve been out of high school for 34 years and have never once attended a reunion or wanted to. I was painfully shy in high school. I actually ran into a former classmate once and all he could remember about me was how shy I had been. I spent my high school years babysitting my younger siblings and planning my exit strategy. When my mom mails me the reunion photo’s from her local paper I scan the photo looking for a couple of former friends I wouldn’t mind seeing and notice they too are never in attendance. I guess we all feel the same way. I’ve also heard with Facebook class reunions are no longer the big events they once were. I did overhear a woman at the gym saying in addition to losing weight she was hoping to have her eyes done as in the bags removed before her upcoming class reunion. Sigh! I decided at that moment I for sure I would never attend one.
Brittany says
Oh my! Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s hard to imagine people trying to change themselves so much to be ready to attend a high school reunion. I think they were more of a “big deal” when fewer people attended college. True friendships were made in high school, so reunions are more meaningful. That’s my best guess! Once again, thanks for stopping by and commenting :)
MB says
I love your honesty in this piece. And I’m happy that you are confident enough in yourself that you don’t crave validation from people who meant nothing to you, either bad or good. I, too, have never been to my high school reunion and just realized that I’m in line for my 25th. I still will not go. I harbor no resentment toward my classmates — even like quite a few of them — but don’t need to feel like I did in high school which was uncomfortable and lonely even though I had a few friends (I just felt that they weren’t kindred spirits who didn’t understand me). I agree that for some people this could be amazing and fun, but it’s not for everyone. Best of luck to you. Visiting from SITS Sharefest.
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Brittany says
Thanks for visiting from Sharefest and thank you for your honesty as well. I can definitely related to the words you have written; I harbor no resentment but have no desire to feel the way I did back then. I have a few people who I still consider distant friends, but our friendship is mostly just checking in on Facebook from time to time. That is enough for me. Once again, thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Patty Gale says
I completely understand. I did go to my 10 year reunion, but none since. The only reason I went to my 10 year is because I had 2 close girlfriends that I wanted to see. Like you, high school was not a pleasant experience for me, either. I was not an athlete, I was average in my studies, I was not the tall, pretty popular girl, etc. etc. I think high school reunions are for those people who just want to see what everyone has been up to or what everyone looks like 10 years later. Who cares, really? I love what Nicole says above. “I’m of the opinion that there are two kinds of people – those whose lives end when high school ends and those whose lives start when high school ends.” I totally agree!
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Brittany says
I think you’re right about reunions being for people who want to see how others have changed (for the better or worse). It’s a good venue for that detrimental thing called comparison. That’s what Facebook is for, folks! Just kidding; I’m always talking about how Facebook isn’t as bad as it’s sometimes made out to be. You just have to be careful about how you use it. It’s great for connecting with long-lost friends, but it’s not so useful when you use it to compare yourself to others. Anyway, Nicole did put things so beautifully and it’s always nice to hear that we’re not alone. Thanks for visiting and commenting :)
Valerie says
I totally understand how you may feel this way. Truth is, I met some of my lifelong friends in college. The main reason why I have kept in contact with most of my high school classmates is because of Facebook.
Brittany says
I’m so glad to hear that you met great friends in college! Facebook is wonderful for keeping in touch with people we don’t get to see or hear from very often. It gets a bad wrap at times, but I believe that it isn’t all bad! Thanks for visiting and commenting!
Leslie says
Hi there, I’m stopping by from SITS. I don’t blame you, I didn’t go to my reunion either for most of the same reasons. I hope you have a great Saturday!
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Brittany says
Thanks for visiting from SITS; what a wonderful surprise that was this morning! Glad to know I’m not alone and I hope you’ve found some new lifelong friends since the torture that can be high school ;-)
Brittany Bullen says
Brittany,
I didn’t go to mine either, for very similar reasons. I think a lot of people feel that way. I’ll tell you the reunion I’m SUPER stoked to go to — college! I still keep in touch with many of my friends from college, so in a lot of ways it’s like we’ve been going strong ever since. I can’t WAIT to see them.
But I really applaud you for embracing where you are in life. We all have our journeys and they never really lead where we thought they would, do they?
BB
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Brittany says
I’ve heard that from a lot of people; college tends to be where we make lifelong friends. I only spent 2 years at my university, but I have one friend in particular who I am still very close with. We met at school in a different state and discovered that our hometowns were only 20 minutes apart from each other! Now that we’ve both moved “home”, our friendship is even stronger. Life sure does take us unexpected places. If we spend our time regretting what might have been, we miss out on the blessings of the present. And there are plenty! Thanks for visiting and commenting!! :)
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
I would never, ever, attend a highschool reunion. Ever. Highschool was the hardest most awful time of my life…. I moved out on my own when I was 16. I worked graveyard shifts at a donut shop while attending highschool during the day. I was held up at gunpoint and walked away from my job and was blessed with a job in the child care profession.
I don’t like to look back or look forward. My eyes need to stay on God because when they’re looking too far back or too far forward, I lose direction and focus on where I am right now and what He wants of me.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…I Can’t Forgive Her
Brittany says
Wow Jennifer. Thank you so much for always being vulnerable when you post and comment. It sounds like your high school years were a rough point in your life and I don’t blame you at all for not wanting to attend a reunion. You are an amazingly strong person and I couldn’t agree with you more: we shouldn’t look backwards or forwards. We are defined by who we are in Christ in the present. Once again, thanks for leaving a piece of your beautiful self on my blog. I’m humbled and honored.
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
What a kind response Brittany. I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve… lol… kind of.
This was a fabulous post.
Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…What Will Happen To My Blog When I Die?
Amber says
I’m not sure if I’ll go to mine either. It would just be terribly awkward.
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Brittany says
I agree! So awkward! Thanks for visiting and commenting!
Bev says
For me, high school was meh. I had a good group of friends, but I was quiet and shy and more on the unpopular side and pretty awkward. I did decide to go to both my 5 and 10 year reunion. The first I was quite nervous about, and by the second one I knew what to expect. People were surprisingly friendly, to the point where I felt like I was in some strange alternative universe with really nice people who had replaced the people who barely acknowledged my presence all those years ago. I don’t know if people just got over themselves and nicer as the years went on, but it felt odd, though overall I suppose I’m glad I went. But I have people who I was friends with in high school for their own reasons decided not to go, and I can see how it’s not for everyone. There’s something strange and forced about attending a high school reunion, so why not spend your time and money doing something much more enjoyable? Thanks for sharing your experience, stopping by from Sharefest.
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Brittany says
Thanks for visiting from Sharefest! I’m glad to hear your reunion experiences were positive. I think you’re right: most people are probably willing to go out of their way to be kind for a few hours, even if you weren’t really friends back in the day. I think since we’re a few years older and wiser, we have a deeper appreciation for people that we might have lacked in high school. Thanks for pointing that out to me!
Elizabeth says
Brittany, I love your points. I went to a high school reunion last year. I had three friends that wanted to go, so we left our hubbies and went together. to be honest, I wished that I didn’t go. It seems like we are suddenly transported to the past, and people forget the years that have gone by, and changed who we are. I also didn’t like that I went back – was seemingly pulled back to become again that 18-year-old teen who was already insecure. I didn’t reconnect with anyone amazing. I didn’t prove to anyone how far I had come,or how magnificent I was now. I think leaving high school behind is so important as we age. If we do not, it will affect our children. I see so many parents now who are living out their high school years through their own children. I did it once. That is enough. Great post. Thanks.
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Brittany says
Wow. Thank you so much for your insight. I never considered how easy it could be to try to relive high school through our children. That is certainly something I don’t want to do. Thank you for bringing this to my attention so that I can take steps to avoid it. I’m sorry your reunion wasn’t what you thought it would be, but it helped affirm my decision not to attend mine, so thank you for visiting and commenting!
Amy says
Thanks for your openness with this post. I haven’t attended, nor plan to attend, any of my high school reunions. While I can fortunately say high school was a pleasant experience, I am no longer in contact with any of my friends. Life happened, we went our separate ways, and I now live many states away. I wish the people I went to high school with no ill will…I personally just have no desire to look back upon that time and make small talk just for the sake of making small talk.
Thanks for sharing with the SITSGirls sharefest today!
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Brittany says
These are exactly my thoughts! I also don’t wish my classmates ill will, it just wasn’t something that I found to be a necessary part of my life right now. I’m glad that high school was a pleasant experience for your, but you’re right; life happens and often we turn into very different people with very different lives. Thanks for visiting my blog!
Rachel G says
A few years ago I helped my grandma pick out a new outfit for her 50th high school reunion–and I think it’s sweet to see her still meeting up with old classmates. But I definitely imagine that high school is not a highlight of life for many. I didn’t actually go to high school, but some of the friendships from those years have lasted–others’ haven’t.
My husband’s 10th reunion would have been last year but it was on the other side of the country, there wasn’t a change he’d travel from Michigan to California for that!
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Brittany says
What you did with your grandma is so sweet! I think it’s cool when people can reunite with old friends; I certainly have nothing against that! I love reuniting with old friends, it just so happens that none of those old friends are from my high school class. I’m very sorry your husband wasn’t able to attend his reunion. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Nicole says
Are you sure I didn’t break into your blog and write this post? I didn’t attend my ten year high school reunion for the exact reasons you mention here. I hated high school and I never had much use for my classmates. I didn’t meet any true friends until I went to college. I’m of the opinion that there are two kinds of people – those whose lives end when high school ends and those whose lives start when high school ends.
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Brittany says
I’m sorry that your high school experience was negative, but I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way. I love the way you speak about there being 2 kinds of people…you are so right! I have a few friends from my high school years, but they weren’t people I went to high school with. Most of my friends are from my college years and beyond. Thanks so much for visiting!