My body screams at me. I’m certain it begins as a whisper. Every time it warns me. And I ignore it. Every time. I’m angry now. At my body. At myself. I feel betrayed. My back gave out on me last weekend and by Tuesday I was desperate. I made the call and the long […]
Why Not Be A Weirdo
Have you ever taken a class on how to make friends? I have. I know, I know. It sounds lame. And it kind of is. We all make fun of it while we’re sitting in group, talking about how to broaden our social life. Really? We need to be taught this? I look at my […]
Whenever That May Be
If there’s one thing I can say about treatment, it’s that you meet people who will change your life. Or at least the way you look at it. Whether you just share the air in the art room or become lifelong friends, there’s something that binds you together. There is no small talk. Everything is […]
the struggle is real. FIGHT.
I don’t think people truly understand why I write. How can they, when I’m not always sure of the reason myself. I never wanted to be a writer. There were many things I’ve wanted to be: Oceanographer Lawyer Surface Warfare Officer President Doctor Artist Entrepreneur Forensic Accountant Professor All of these careers were–at one time […]
If Only You Could See
It’s funny how I can go a whole day receiving no texts, Facebook messages, or phone calls…then get bombarded when I sit down to paint my nails. I mean giving yourself a manicure is hard enough, people. Try doing so while engaging in 3 conversations at once…all while watching a movie. It takes talent. But […]
Maybe They’re The Crazy Ones
She laughed at me. I didn’t crack a smile. Half a second later she stopped, suddenly realizing that this was not a joke. I was serious. It was that time of the week. The time when I meet with a staff member for a “check-in.” She asks me about my week, goes down a list […]
The Perfect Oatmeal
I’ve written several serious posts recently and I decided it was time for something a little bit more lighthearted. When recovering from an eating disorder, it is very easy to get stuck in a rut. We go through meals like robots. Our minds still perform countless calculations a minute as we strategically compose our meals […]
This Time Around
I knew it would happen. Still, I wasn’t prepared. I’ve spent a lot of my past in eating disorder treatment. When I agreed to this intensive outpatient program, I knew the chance of seeing someone from my past admissions was high. I was right; one of the IOP dietitians was a familiar face. “You had a good […]
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