This one’s for the few but faithful folks that visit my blog and wait expectantly for posts and tweets. The last week or so has been rather crazy. And from what I hear, I don’t seem to be in the minority when making that statement. It was the first week of school for most people, which naturally carries with it an unusually high level of stress. But this post isn’t going to be about ways to manage stress or cope with crazy (although those are topics on my blog post “to-do” list). This one’s going to be a little more personal. It might not be one that reaches a broader audience, but it’s something insightful nonetheless and my hope is that you might be able to see a piece of yourself in my story.
I’ve been going through a rough patch. Some people like to debate whether or not “overwhelmed” is a feeling. I say it is. It’s one that can practically smother you if you’re not careful. The thing that makes feeling overwhelmed so dangerous is that it’s not always foreshadowed with gloom and doom. Your life can be filled with excitement, joy, anticipation, goals, and prospects. Couple these healthy stressors with a few negative relationships or burdensome commitments, however, and you’ll soon find yourself knee-deep in trouble.
I have a lot going for me: I’m establishing an online presence, I have a steady and well-paying job, I’m starting at a “real” university, I’ve started on some freelance work, and I finally feel like I have a vision for the future.
That’s a lot on my plate. I work 18 hours a week at one college and travel to another university for my 15 credits worth of classes four days a week. I’m also raising a 4 year-old daughter, serving on the Celebrate Recovery leadership team at my church, and going to physical therapy multiple times per week. I’m running a blog, promoting myself through social media, and writing freelance articles too. All while trying to maintain my sanity. It’s a lot.
I tend to downplay it: “Other people do all of this and more. Why can’t I do it?”
The answer? I can.
I’ve been told it multiple times; usually by the people I swore would be the most unlikely to utter the words. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture the people who saw me in my darkest moments to tell me, “No Brittany. You’ve lost your right to say you can’t. You’ve done the impossible. After everything you’ve survived, this will certainly not be the end of you. You are a miracle.”
We never ask for hardship, desperation, or the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by what life has brought upon us. But it’s usually in these moments that I’m most able to witness and experience an outpouring of love. You’d think after all this time I would realize this fact and come to expect it, yet it still sweeps me off my feet. The way God uses hardship to draw us into relationship with both Him and others while refining us, making us stronger, and revealing our inherent worth as human beings continually astounds me.
The people who saw me at my worst refuse to let me be anything less than my best. Those who have believed in me through it all still encourage me through my doubts. And there are always new people joining me on my journey; bringing hope and meaning to my life, always telling me that I’ve done the same for them.
I know that I can do it. What it really comes down to is how I do it. That’s a choice I get to make. This period of my life is stressful, yet it’s full of potential. I get to decide whether or not I make it glorious. So I think I’ll knock my course load down to 12 credits instead of 15. I’ll take a few steps to manage my temperance. I’ll eat.
To most people these decisions come naturally; they’re common sense. You might not understand it, but for me it’s more difficult. They’re things I have to mull over and do with great intention.
Some days we feel like we don’t really have a choice in the matter; all we feel is utter exhaustion. On other days we’re filled with frantic excitement. But, while life is full of ups and downs, most of our days are spent in the middle and it’s on those days that we get to make a choice. We get to decide which side of the spectrum will shape and define our thoughts and actions. It’s that daily decision that colors and flavors our lives for years to come.
What daily decision is most difficult for you?
Linking up with Coast to Coast Blog Post Party, The Blogger’s Digest, SHINE Blog Hop, & That Friday Blog Hop!
Anne Marie says
Oh my goodness, YES! I have 3 kids, a husband, a full time job (with a 45 min-1.5 hr commute each way!), 2 podcasts, my blog, and I am on the PTSA BOD! These is never enough time for it all! Sometimes it is really hard to remember to take care of ourselves.
Thanks for sharing on the #SHINEbloghop this week :-)
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Brittany says
Oh wow, girl. How do you do it all? Seriously. I want to know your secret! But don’t forget to take some time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes. You deserve (and need) it! Thanks for stopping by and visiting!
Monica says
I feel you! Being overwhelmed is a feeling for sure! If you don’t take time for yourself, it can lower your immune system & your body will make you slow down! Why can’t I do that myself? Thanks for sharing such a personal post and something many can relate to! Brought me peace of mind :)
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Brittany says
Oh gosh, girl. I can totally relate to your body telling you when it’s time to slow down. Your words have the perfect timing!! I just finished a post that talks about that point specifically. It’s scheduled for Monday, so stay tuned ;-) Thanks for stopping by and visiting and make sure you take some time to care for yourself, ok?
becka says
I know exactly how you feel and understand completely the feeling of being overwhelmed and how it’s not about all bad at once but a lot of good at once can overwhelm as well. :) You girl are amazing!
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Brittany says
Awe, thanks for stopping by Becka! Being overwhelmed can go from good to bad in the blink of an eye!
Elizabeth says
I can so relate to this post, Brittany. I have been going through a rough patch as well, and had to take a step back from the blog. Although I know all the “right” things to do for myself, I don’t always apply them to me. I am so impressed with everything you are doing. And, you are exactly right. Life is good…and stressful. Love it. Thank you for a personal post. I loved it!
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Brittany says
Thank you so much for your honesty. It’s one thing not to do the right things for ourselves when we don’t know what they even are. But I think we’re harder on ourselves when we know we’re not doing what we should be doing! Taking time to rest and engage in self-care can be the hardest (but best) thing we can do for ourselves :)
Karen says
This is such a great post. I totally believe that overwhelmed is truly a feeling. We tend to keep adding more and more stuff to our plates that something has to give. Your post is so inspiring though that you can get through these times with such a positive outlook. Thanks so much for sharing!
Brittany says
Thanks for visiting, Karen! We definitely live in a society that encourages us to do more, more, more! Usually it’s things that we’re interested in doing, so we don’t realize what’s happening until we’re knee deep. I’ve found that learning my limits and developing my ability to say “no” is the only thing that can protect me. I’m getting better at recognizing the signs, but I need to hone the skill so that it kicks in earlier! Great to meet you :)
aMANDA says
Britt,
You’ve always been insightful, even at some of those dark times. One of my biggest struggles is eating and on the opposite side of that, is balance. I go one way or the other and am stuck somewhere in between. Overwhelmed is definitely a feeling and I’m feeling it now too.
xoxo,
amanda
Brittany says
Amanda, thanks so much for stopping by. The struggle is real, but joy and peace are possible. This week I’ve heard and seen a lot of stories from a lot of people. Knowing you’re not alone is bittersweet. It’s encouraging, yet it breaks your heart that other people experience similar emotions. But it’s worth the fight. You are worth the fight. So keep at it, girl! :)
Gram says
Love what you are doing and we are 2 of your faithful, loving cheerleaders. GO BRITTANY!!
Brittany says
I love love LOVE my cheerleaders; you’re awesome! Thanks for being faithful readers and always encouraging me :)
Marge Bowen says
Brittany, I so enjoy reading your blogs. You are a very talented writer, and I am always amazed at how well you can express yourself. I envy that talent! You are such a special young woman and I am so proud of you. Love you – Gram
Brittany says
Thanks, Gram! I couldn’t do this without everyone’s encouragement. You guys are the best!
Stacey says
I hope many people read and share this blog, you are an inspiration. So much more to say, but will keep it short. Great post!
Brittany says
Thank you! I hope my blog will continue to inspire people; that’s been my goal from the very beginning!!!
CAITLIN m says
Brittany, I know I have not been right next to you through this journey, but I have always continued to watch from afar. I am SO proud of all that you are handling right now and how you’re handling it with grace! You continue to inspire me, and you are so good at putting words to life. I look forward to continuing to watch you grow and set the world on fire!
Brittany says
Awe, thanks Caitlin! You’re rather incredible yourself. I’ve always been impressed with how you never give up and always find a way through the tough times. Keep fighting, girl; you’re amazing!